Journey Back to Myself

A first hike, a fragile body, and learning to meet myself where I am.

I went on my first hike of the year back in January 2026. Not just my first hike of the year, but my first hike since multiple surgeries and procedures, with more to go.

I wasn’t the slowest or the fastest on the trail. Still, it was humbling, because I was not where I wanted to be.

With each step, I thought about the people around me. I was surrounded by New Year’s resolutions. I was surrounded by women struggling to lose weight. I was surrounded by men competing against themselves.

I was fighting for air. I was fighting for cardiovascular health. I was fighting to regain strength.

Just a few days before, I couldn’t stand up for more than a couple of minutes without being winded. And here I was, on my own, hiking.

It was the first time out of my house on my own in recent memory on a trip that didn’t involve a medical professional.

No poles. No assistance. Just grateful to be outside. Grateful to be standing. A few months before, I wasn’t so confident that I would be standing again.

The journey is not over. I still have a winding road ahead of me. A road with so many forks that I’ve questioned who I am. What makes me a woman. What makes me a person. What makes me, well, me.

But like the trail, I will take it step by step. Baby steps. Until I’m on the other side of whatever this is.